The Vampire Dairies: The Vampire Crisis at Neuroscience 2011: Day 3

Day 3 is upon us, and things have already gotten interesting. As with yesterday, I slept in again and woke up alone in the house. I was more confident today because of my protection and my penetration device.  You can see me below with my gear ready for today’s hunt. Holding my banana makes me feel manly and prepared for battle. I plan some huge penetration for today:

The first thing I noticed was this giant pig:

I have no clue what this pig is for or why the vampires built it. I suppose it’s possible that it may be a decoy, so if I try to penetrate the pig to kill it I will 1) Lose my banana, and 2) Waste my time and money trying to kill a pig that, while it looks like a vampire, quite possibly may not be one. Anyway, my banana made appearances throughout the day. There are so many people here (apparently over 30,000 scientists) that you always have to be on guard, because it’s hard to tell if someone is a vampire or not. And at some points in your life you need to take care of your friends, so I temporarily lent my banana to my good friend Zack while he was with his poster, because he doesn’t have his own banana:

Zack definitely looks ready for the hunt with my banana in his hand. If you look behind him you can see the boards we had to pin our posters to.  These boards are nice and large and allowed us to print out big posters. But look at what I found a few boards down from Zack’s poster:

This is an obvious sign of World War 3, when a massive battle between humans and vampires ensue. Many innocent men, women, and children will be slaughtered. It looks like the Society for Neuroscience gave vampires space to put up their own poster.

The big news of the day was the awarding of my friend Catherine a travel award for her research project, titled “Acute postnatal exposure to di(2-ethylhexyl) phthalate on neurodevelopmental and behavioral endpoints in rats.” Of course, being in the limelight and in the neuroscientist elite, Catherine is now a pretty big target, so as with Zack, I temporarily let her hold my banana.

Of course, Catherine never thanked me for letting her hold my banana.  I also let my other friend Sam hold my banana. Sam is a compulsive banana thief. First off, here she is with my banana:

But way back in 2009, when we all went to the Society for Behavioural Neuroendocrinology conference in Michigan, Sam had the foresight to hoard and steal bananas. At the time I thought she was nuts, but now I realize the genius behind it all. You can see her below holding someone else’s banana, one that she snuck into her purse while no one was looking. This picture was taken in 2009:

As you can see, I’m not selfish at all when it comes to my banana. When we left the award ceremony things seemed a little sketchy outside, so Val, Sam, and I cabbed back to the house to get ready for later festivities. I am so happy that we cabbed back, who knows if we would have survived the walk back home, and we met a really cool cab-driver called Sam. Sam’s been living in Washington for 22 years now. He’s probably an undercover vampire hunter, but undercover agents aren’t allowed to actually tell people that they are undercover hunters, so there was no way to tell for certain.

Unfortunately, I completely forgot to let him hold my banana. As the night progressed my banana had a lot of action, jumping from people to people throughout the day. We eventually hooked up at a bar for drinks, and this is when my banana exchanged hands the most.  Unfortunately, my banana was in pretty bad shape by the time the night was over. Below, you can see a collage of my banana:

As you can see, the banana was in pretty bad shape by the end of the day, and as of this moment I have no idea where it is. I may have to acquire a new banana for tomorrow’s activities. So, while today I didn’t get eaten by a vampire, I got pretty close. I think the banana might have helped.  I’ll wrap up today’s post with what I said yesterday: May the anti-vampireness be with you.  I’ll see you tomorrow, banana or not.